explore the app

2026 Los Angeles, CA 

2026 Las Vegas, NV love the heat of Las Vegas—the late-night street music, the warm air against my skin,the feeling that anything could happen. I imagine sitting at a gambling table, dreaming of winning everything, with my lover beside me.

2024 Tuscany country sidePeaceful countryside all around, an old stone house with red brick floors, beautiful art, an old piano, and wood-burning fireplaces. In this place I immediately got in touch completely with myself, became one with nature and my dream and the whole world, and any sense of time completely disappeared. I thought: this is how I want to live and feel for the rest of my life. I could see myself living in nature with my lover through spring blossoms, summer heat and rain, autumn winds, and quiet winters forever.

2023 Alaska(2)there are no tickets but they said the day of departure to come at 5 am to get a walk in ticket wich won't gurantee that my car will have a place but to try. I wake at 4 am and try to be at 4:40 am before others to get a ticket but I was late. In front of me there were already some kayakars and two other cars. By 8 am they manged to fit all the cars on the ship except my car and a motorcycle. Finally they signal to drive the car and I see that the only place left was barely to fit my car and the motorcicle. They fit all the cars so tight and with such precison that there was barely any space left all around my car on the ship. I aboultely love the ferry ride. Is bumpy, is cold, is splashy, is scary, is rainy, I love the ship food, I love it all. I get off at Whittier and drive to Girdwood, a ski resort I want to check out. I love the ski resort and I say I want to come to ski maybe I will even see the northlights. From Girdwood I drive to Seaward and from there I do Kenai Fjords National Park Cruise wich was exciting and inspirational. The boat captain, was one of the most passionate about nature, fun, exciting and cool persons I have ever seen and he was actually from Tillamook, Oregon where I live some times. Tillammok is a bit like in a diferent world. Mountain people and cruise captains are some of the most appealing and exciting people on earth. There is something about wilderness and people who live in wildernesss that make life feel so real and exciting.

2023 Alaska(1)I'm landing in Anchorage, Alaska. I drive to Talkeetna where I see all the neighbors going and coming home by little airplains. I drive to Cantwell , next day I drive to visit Denaly Mountains wich can be visited only by bus. I take a bus and the bus driver points to a moose resting on a piece of unmelted snow and says "the moose is conserving energy". I thought I'm a lot like that moose. I try to get next to Valdez but the car breaks down so I go back for a night to Anchorage to get another car. With a new car I drive all the way to Valdez barely making it before the dark becasue there was al lot of puring rain, rivers and melted snow washing roads and many roads were in construction. The nature is very peaceful and wild. I get to Valdez and I get inspired and I fall in love with it. There are no traffic signs becasue there is barely any car. I said I want to live exactly here. While in Valdeze there is an earthquake I feel. It was only one jolt. From Valdez I need to get to Girdwood but I refuse to drive the same road I just came on. I want to go all around by ferry even though I know the online ferry tickes got sold out months ago. I go to the ferry station and

2022 Portland, OR Bought a tiny two-room condo—the cheapest I could find—a place that belongs only to me. A space to retreat, recharge, recenter, be free and stay completely true to myself. Owning a home, having posesions feels like a drag. The posesions start to posses me. I'm moving to LA to hustle in the sun and not sure I want to buy anything anymore (except maybe a place that rents itself when I'm not there). Renting sounds good for me but I need money to keep renting. 

2019 Joseph, ORAligned love.(I)Social-psychology defines loneliness = the perceived gap between the relationships you want and the relationships you have. I hardly ever been physically alone. I actually crave solitude. For me, loneliness isn't about having no one around. It's about being with someone who doesn't really understand you. Without that deeper connection, without feeling seen and accepted, a relationship can quickly become routine, obligation, boring, and exausting. I want to feel seen by the other person, but I also want to understand them in return. I want that feeling of two people genuinely meeting each other, rather than simply sharing the same space. Thich Nhat Hanh wrote, “Someone who can understand our suffering is our best friend. We listen to each other. We are there for each other. Otherwise, the coming together of two bodies becomes routine and monotonous after a time.” Khalil Gibran wrote "All can hear, but only the sensitive can understand." 

2019 Joseph, ORAligned love (II)I love that idea, though sensitivity alone isn't enough for me. I've met sensitive people who still didn't have the energy, excitement, vitality, appetite for life that I need. That can be just as isolating. I don't only want someone who feels deeply. I want someone who is intensly aloive with zest for life in the same way I am—someone who wants to keep experience things, move, explore, desire, create, push limits and keep discoveringBeing understood is important, but I also want to be aligned.True compatibility requires more than emotional resonance or physical chemistry. It requires wanting same things and moving in a similar direction.. What do we want our days to feel like? What are we building together? What do we want to experience together?Thich Nhat Hanh wrote that when two people share the same aspirations, they form a "community of two"—a space where love grows without either person losing their freedom or individuality. I don't want love to mean codependency. I want two free, autonomous individuals moving in parallel because they genuinely want the same kind of life. Two people can understand each other beautifully, but if they want completely different lives, that divergence eventually becomes its own form of loneliness.

2019 Jackson, WYAligned love (III) True intimacy, for me, is physical, emotional, and soulful.I love Thich Nhat Hanh's words about sexual intimacy: “Sexual intimacy can be a beautiful thing if there is mindfulness, concentration, insight, mutual understanding, and love.”. For me, it's not simply physical closeness. It's meeting each other fully—being present, understanding each other, sharing desire, and continually choosing each other because being together gives life more energy rather than draining it. It all sounds beautiful. And I believe it. But then there is real life. You can know that you want a co-adventurer to share yourself and your world in motion, and still find it difficult to find one. You can know what kind of love you want without knowing exactly who will bring it into your life—or what form it will ultimately take. Pharrell Williams says "Clear intentions and clear purpose begets clear results" "And nobody finds the one but they keep looking crawling in and out of beds." Charles Bukowski. Holding onto the desire for depth, vitality, intimacy, and shared direction while remaining open to the unexpected ways a real person might embody them. To know what you long for, without turning that longing into a rigid set of requirements. And to remain capable of meeting the moment, loving the person in front of you, and letting real life surprise you. That is as good a life as I can think of.

2019 Joseph, ORAfter spending my entire life deaf and blind to most people here comes Thích Nhất Hạnh a person I want to know everything everything he says. I discoverd him in 2018 and I read him so much that I kwo his words by heart. It's funny that I feel sensuality in my body and in my life and then I'm paying attention to a monk. Thích Nhất Hạnh has this practice of living in the moment touching life deeply wich is what I crave in 2023 I discover Charles Buckowski yet another person I want to know everything everything he says. “Anything is a waste of time unless you are fucking well or creating well or getting well or looming toward a kind of phantom-love-happiness.” Charles Bukowski “ "I was naturally a loner, content just to live with a woman, eat with her, sleep with her, walk down the street with her. I didn't want conversation, or to go anywhere except the racetrack or the boxing matches. I didn't understand t.v. I felt foolish paying money to go into a movie theatre and sit with other people to share their emotions. Parties sickened me. I hated the game-playing, the dirty play, the flirting, the amateur drunks, the bores." Charles Bukowski I also read a bit Jack Kerouac, Marlene Dietrich, Elvis Presley. "but Dean just raced in society, eager for bread and love; he didn’t care one way or the other, “so long’s I can get that lil ole gal with that lil sumpin down there tween her legs, boy,” and “so long’s we can eat, son, y’ear me? I’m hungry, I’m starving, let’s eat right now!" Jack KerouacLove affairs are the real only education in life.Marlene Dietrich"My philosophy of life is simple: I need someone to love, something to wait and do something" Elvis PresleyThese people say what I want to say. I wish I found people who live the way I want to live, the best way to live, that's what I have been looking for since I was little.

2017 Nov Seattle

2017 Nov Seattle

2017 Oct Portland , ORDiscovering Ralph Lauren who expreses himself through photos. I love the photos, the beautiful clothes, the cool cars, the countryside. I feel liberated. I don't have to create an app that has any writing I can express everything through images

2017 Oct Portland, ORI've been a young mom as I've dreamed to be, I've stayed home with my kids for a long, long time. Now they are a big and I want to be an American entrepreneur. An entrepreneur solves a problem. I live for love and bread, exactly like the Dean from Jack Keroaucks story. That is my problem. I'm thinking to create an app. My memori is so poor... I wake up every day asking who I am, what I'm doing and where I'm going so I make a visual board with all I like and all I know. With whom I love, with what feels good, beautiful, meaningful and desirable to me. With who I am and how my life is. I love living immersed in the moment, I love touch, I love being a sex object, I love beautiful sensual clothes and shoes, looking as good as I can, money from work that I love. I try to explain to myself what is the app doing but except two words "romance and adventure" I don't have any more. I have only pictures and movie in my head. It's kind of frustraiting to feel so much and to not be able to put into words, to express it even to yourself. I feel I will never be able to express how I feel

2014 Portland, OR My 1st Bob Dylan concert. In 2012 I discover Bob Dylan and I say: this person is like me. Like sort of looks, feels, thinks, behaves somehow familiar. A current of overjoy goes through me from top to toe. I feel liberated. I don't need to change myself to fit society, not that I even tried yet but I thought I might have to once I start work. If he managed to make serious money being himself, so different from society, I can too. Over the years I went back to him again and back to him again and got to know more and more about him. I like his face, it feels familiar to me. The way he moves feels so good to me. He is so wise, I want to know evreything, everything he says. I've been to seven of his concerts, and simply sharing the room with him fills me with energy. I would love to find someone who feels so exciting, so intensly alive, passionate, full of zest for life, with personal style, someone who follows their heart instead of the crowd. Someone who looks, feels, thinks as good as Bob Dylan. Someone for real, to sleep beside, eat with, walk down the street with.

2004 Great Barrie Reef, QLD, AustraliaIn 2004 I emigrate from Timisoara, Romania to Australia 2007 first time in my life when I start having money for more that this week.In 2008 I emigrate from Australia to Portland, OR 

2000 Cinque Terre, Italy I kept saying Trinque Cerre and people made fun of me

2000 Timisoara, RomaniaStill hooked on my true love dream At the end of wedding reception I felt a deep pain in my heart for not finding "true love" , whatever that feeling means, because even though I don't truly believe in true love and most people never find it in their lifetime, was still at the back of my mind, still a dream since I was 4 or 5. It's a dream I can't escape. It drives me. I hold tide to my dream because it's all I have. But then I don't believe my dream. I don't think I believe dreams at all. I don't know where dreams come from. And then I think is foolish to wait, to waste your time and life for something that may not exist, something maybe idealistic, something you may never find. I think it's good to keep the dreams at the back of your mind but to also to get your hands as you go on anything you can, anyone that feels so good, anything and anybody that is useful. I do believe that the best time to prepare for the future is living your life today. True love in my mind is a fucking experience that feels in a certain way. Maybe feels like somebody gives you a kiss on your pussy but you love the person. Maybe sex + love= true love. Love is so abstract, what does it even mean. I guess I'll know when I'll experience. A dream of person who's in tune with me and I'm in tune with him. We don't need to talk because we both deeply feel and completely understand each other. A person who likes me the most and I like him the most. A person with whom A man with whom I feel like the whole world had disappeared and I'm only me and him living on earth surrounded by beautiful nature, rain, storms, snow, seasons and nothing else. I may be looking for myself in a masculine form.

2000 Timisoara, RomaniaThe word wedding doesnt exist in my vocabulary. A wedding feels like a circus for other people not for me. I tried to wiggle myself out of it. We rented an over 100 years old beautiful church, kept the church service unsually short. Then I disapered from the restaurant reception. I didn't mean to or planned to, it just happened. A cousin "stole" me and we went to her house and stayed there. She said the tradition ( I never heard of ) is that the bride is stolen and the groom needs to find her. We stayed and stayed and stayed at her house and the groom never came. We finnaly called him to see if he is still searching and he ordered me back to restaurant angered to no ends where the guests were still there.

2000 Timisoara, RomaniaDating since I was 16, I was tired of falling in and out of love with people I did not even liked. I was so ready to have babies. Since I was five years old, I dreamed of making love and having babies, but words like marriage, being limited, honeymoon, cheating, social expectations don't exist in my vocabulary. Conventional relationship rules don't naturally make sense to me . I have a drive, a strong need, to be free to do what I need to do every moment day and night, moment by moment. People who know me, know that's how I am. They call me impulsive and I love to be impulsive.The impulse is coming from inside of me. I don't anyone to disturbe me, my peace , my joy of being myself, my joy of living in the present day, my joie of life. I naturally like people like me and I don't see many like me. Harmony feels so good. And I'm honest and upfront :“I'm a freestyle, this is who I am. I love who I am. I love loyalty, but I love life too much to limit myself. Take me as I am or leave me alone.” I was never afraid of being alone. Even when I am 105 years old, I believe I can still find someone who wants to make love with an old, wrinkled woman like me. He will probably be old and wrinkled too. As long as we are alive, we are not ugly. A person can still feel so good even if ugly. I found a man who accepted me as I was.I wanted to be completely free—and found someone who liked me without taking my freedom away. I became the young mother I dreamed of becoming, giving birth to my baby girl and my baby boy.

1995 Timisoara, Romania

1995 Timisoara, RomaniaUnion square .The fountain of freedom

1994 Timisoara, Romania Taking a late night train going somewhere far away. Drinking from a baby bottle I just bought in the train station becasue in that picture perfect moment only a baby was missing.

1994 Alba Iulia, ROI keep falling for men who are cute and have style. I realize is a weakness of mine. I decide to smarten up. Next thing I know, I'm falling for another guy who is cute and has style. I stop trying to fight with myself and accept that I fall for cute men with style. Sensitive people understand diferently. It's easier to agree on what cute looks like. It's more of a visual thing. But when it comes to style, it's much more emotional, psychological, personal, coming from inside.

1993 Timisoara, RO When I was 16 I started dating again and got back my love life. One lover was into hiking, with him I went up the mountains, sleeping in a tent, cooking polenta over an open fire and making love beneah the stars . The other lover was a city movie going sensitive, emotional who played in church orchestra with me, I played mandolin and he flute. He worked for a while in Germany painting houses and making lots of money. Wiping the sweat from beneah his curly hair said "I was not born to live in Romania, Romania is a dead end". The way he said it touched me. School for me was unbearable, a daily putre torture. I was desperate to escape college wich by now felt like the electric chair. I thought that wipping tables overseas would make me more money than a profesional can make in Romania. I decided to emigrate. I'm not sure I had an ego but becasue of my mother I was about to try to get an ego. My colision with this lover cured me of any ego for forever.

1992 Apuseni Mt, Romania

1987 Timisoara, Romania. 



1985 Timisora, ROWhen I'm six, we sell the village house and move with our over one hundred animals -pigs, goats, chickens, turkeys, ducks, rabbits, dogs, cats, bees to Timisoara city. In the city I can't find a special boy I long to love, touch, and play with and that hurts so bad. I thought: is everyone in so much pain as me? Nobody seems to have somebody to love and be with. I find a few boys I like in school, and some I like in church and they are the only thing I like about both school and church 

1980 Ramna, Romania. .I'm inseparable from the cute boy who lives across the street, who follows me with a love smile on his face. He is the only one I let touch my baby doll. We walk on the street for hours, arms around each other’s shoulders. By the time I am six, with the good and the bad I like myself. I feel secure under the sun and feel inside a drive to celebrate every day. The dream of making love with somebody special for whom I'm special and having babies makes me happy and that's all that matters to me. I love nature, seasons, and life so much 

1977 Ramna, RomaniaRaised from 3 months old until I was 6 years old in a hilly village off the beaten path with orchards and running creeks.Summers with torrential rain. Colorful Autumns with powerful winds that left the streets covered in walnuts, and branches. Winters were quiet, white, burning wood smoke in the air. Our almost square garden, the wind moving the trees, the strong scent of yellow pears, of black grapes, bees, butterflies.I kept track of flowers, fruits, leaves, their change in color, shape, texture. I tracked the wind, the temperature of the sun on my skin. I saw dark clouds roll over the garden I watched torrential rain from the window I saw sun rays after the storm warming up everything, shining a magic light Storms excited me, inspired me. They stirred something deep inside me and made me fall in love with being alive. They made me want to make love.