Visual story
Ramna, Romania
Ramna, Romania
Ramna, Romania
Ramna, Caras Severin, Romania Raised from 3 months by my grandparents. My grandad was a tough workaholic farmer and the vilage's feard one man show pastor - he liked to work, threaten to kill theives with the big axe he kept by the front door, and put down my grandma. He broke my nose for laughing while he preached (and threatened to beat me up until I was 16 if he catches me again laughiung in church)He threw me in the street for stealing my neigbor's baby doll. My grandma was sensitive, her food was divine. I loved my grandma so much, I felt one with her. They were married for 73 years
1980 Ramna, Romania Ramna is a Romanian village off the beaten path with orchards and running creeks.I kept track of flowers, fruits, leaves, of their change in color, shape, texture. I tracked the wind, the temperature of the sun on my skin. I saw dark clouds roll over the garden. I watched torrential rain from the window. I saw sun rays after the storm warming up everything, shining a magic light. Storms excited me, inspired me, they made me feel like making love.
1980 Ramna, Romania Inseparable from the cute boy a year older who lives across the street who follows me all with a love smile on his face. We try to make love a few times. He is the only one I let touch my baby doll. We walk on the streets arms around shoulders. He pushes me, puls me, trips, slams me in the walls, he laughs, but never hurts me. He plays prank on kid and people who pass by. I'm mostly watch embarsed and scared of what he does.
1981 Ramna, Romania Afraid of people my brain tunes them out, I'm selectively mute, deaf and blind. My grandma says she likes everything everything about me except that I don't listen.
I dislike one kid so much I have him thrown out of my house. My grandad comes to talk to me. All his talk about "we are all brothers sisters in Christ let the boy in," didn't help me change my mind. I was stuck in my brain and he could have killed me if he wanted to
1983 Ramna, Romania Afraid of dogs, cats, pigs, goats, our turkeys, our neighbors turkeys, the geese that roam freely on the street. Anything that can scratch or bite no matter how small scares me.With the good and the bad, I like myself, The dream of making love and having babies is is all that I connect with, everything esle I don't care
1985 Timisoara, RORight before grade one, my grandparents sell the village house and we move to Timisoara medieval city where my mother and my uncle had been living for a long time. The city house has a beautiful garden with over sixty fruit trees. It becomes heaven on earth, my peace place, the place I can breath, the place that makes me dream of a diferent life . A life wheer I am just me, my lover and my babies away from everyone else
1985 Timisoara, ROAt a b-day party In my favorite soft white top with red hearts and red joggers. My mother said "that's not how people dress for a b-day party" but I didn't cvare. Parties scared the shit out of me and i had to feel good at least somehow.
1985 Timisoara, ROMy single, inspirational mother constantly says "Everyone is out for themselves." She likes the most to be pen pal with a woman she never wants to meet. She has only stylish clothes, goes often to opera, hotels, coffee places, clubs, taking me with her until late at night when I fall asleep on opera chairs and come back home sleep walking watching the moon. Goes through three husbands and a dozen lovers - almost all artists. She doesn't work. When she isn't consumed by a romance, she spends three decades sincerely dying of cancer. She says, "I love flowers and soulful music," making it clear that she doesn't love anyone else. Men, even young ones feel attracted to her into her sixties. In her seventies, older men still want her, though she dismisses them all as pigs. She pushes to style my clothes and hair until I let her have her way just to have peace. She says I'm disorganized with no imagination and foresight but lucky me with her that she will make out of me somebody important. While she slapt me "just becasue she is weak with her nerves , she beat me only once. She hit by naked butt with a thin wip until I bleeded. It happned when I came one night late and threw myself tired on the bed leaving marks of rust from my hair on the white sheet. I was explorating with a boy some underground rusted pipes. She said "I beat you for one and only one thing - for being adventurous - adventurous is dangerous
1985 Timisoara, ROIn school I find most people too insensitive and intrusive. I keep walking out of school. I try to escape it. I keep deaf, mute, blind. My interest in school, movies, books, fantasy, abstraction, ideas is zero. I can't pay any attention and don't care to even try. Whatever teachers tell me to do, I don't do. I don't hear them. If teachers praise or criticize me I don't care either way. I don't trust words much and I don't understand many words. I skip classes. I copy at tests, copy my homework, show up always unprepared. I don't think of consequences. Not listening ever to what others talk, I observe funny things like a fly sitting on somebody head or somebody making faces when they talk and I start laughing making others laugh. I do that at church too. The only bad things I'm caught and punished for are this laughs for wich I'm invited or escorted out of class and church several times.
1987 Timisoara, RO I don't do my homework and I'm out to play. I realize most kids are busy doing homework or other important things they don't crave excitment like me. Its painful, disapointing but I understand. I decide to not wait for them ever again, to not ask twice and to keep moving searching for thrill until the end of earth. And if I find somebody appealing and exciting who wants same things as me along the way I'll be happy and take them. If not, it is what it is and its how it goes
1991 Timisoara, RO Frustrated with hairdresers I start cutting the hair myself. I don't like my nose and have three nose surgeries behind my mother's back who says "you can't change how God made you, if you do that, its a sin". So yeah, I'm a sinner.
1992 Apuseni Mt, RO Pushed by my mother to go in church mountain camps when I don't want to becasue I'm so shy, I fall in love with mountains. With the feeling of waking up in the mountain's strong fresh air, seeing dew on the grass and mist over the valley, hearing cow bells nearby, hiking for hours at a time, cooking on fire every night under the sky full of stars.
1993 Timisoara, ROIn the church orcherasta I play mandoline and I meet a Romanian man who works oversease, who makes me fall in love with him. Wipping blobs of sweat from his forhead he tells me "I was not born to live in Romania, RO is a dead end". Madly in love I forget about going to school. I get in trouble and change schools to save myself. By now I associate doing college with the electric chair but he got me an idea- emigrating to escape college-career and to make easy $$.
1994 Timisoara, ROTaking a late night train , going somwhere far away with a lover. Drinking water from a baby bottle I just bought in the train station. In that picture perfect moment I felt only a baby was missing
1994 On the way to Patinis, RO
1994 Paltinis, RO
1994, Alba Iulia, RO
1995 Timisoara, RO
1997 Valig Lake, Romania
2000 Timisoara, RomaniaAfter years of dating exausted I needed peace, I was ready to have babies
2000 Timisoara, RomaniaI always dreamed to make love with love and have babies but words like marriage, honeymoon, being limited, monogamy, don't cross my brain.I don't have a need to be fullly commited to anyone. I like to be loyal and free in the same time. I always choose with my heart and I don't like to leave any love behind. There are so few loves you can find in life, why leave any behind. Me and my grandma we don't observe social norms and we don't seem to have 90 % of the problems most other people have. My mothers observes soical norms and wants to align, she just can't and she can't stand closed minded people. I learn from my mother to stay away from narrow minded people too. I found a man who accepted to take me as different from mainstream as I am maybe becasue his mother was also an unconventional single mother.
2000 Timisoara, RomaniaI know I'm unconventional and preserve myself for lovers who align with me. I keep myself away from groups of people. Friends was not a word in my grandma's vocabulary and somehow is not in mine either. Its way easier for me to feel and not tangle myself in labels. Love for me is fluid, generous , intensly active. I like to be useful . I like take care of people I love. Love is being kind and being nurturing. Romance is an ever-evolving experience.Love satisfaction and life satisfcation are important to me.
2000 Timisoara, Romania For me physical touch is the primary evidence that love is real. Love for me is always emotional and physical. I find those who use words instead of real sex, painful, frustrating, hollow, cold, using bait-and-switch. They show you the cholate than they say "well is not for you" .If I love a food I want to eat it, if I love a person I want to sleep with them. You feel an emotion you act on it. To experience love without sexual expression feels unnatural, like being invited to a feast where you are only allowed to read the menu. Just sex is fun. But love with sex is the best there is, he absolute peak experience li fe can offerand is exactly what makes life go on.
2000 Timisoara, RomaniaStill searching for the one or the ones. A dream I have since i was 4 or 5. I dream I can't escape. Is at the back of my mind always, like food is at the back of my mind always.
2000 Venice, Italy
2000 Venice, Italy
2000 Chiavari, Italy
2000 Cinque terre, Italy
2000 Florence, Italy
2002 Retezat Mountains, RO
2003 Fagaras Mountains, RO
2004 Timisoara, RO Graduate IT college wich I attended 2% of the time. I don't know to write two lines of code. School horrified me so much. Its sureal.
2004 Great Barrier Reeff, AustraliaIn 2004 I emigrated from Romania to Australia
2013 Oregon Coast. Places bore me. Places are emotionall flat and lack of emotion bores me. I can't really see a place more than two times without getting bored. Lack of visual appeal sickens me also, so does seeing same faces, routine and monotony. Boredom drives me to alcoholism and overeating . I need to feel alive. I start moving. I stay weekends, weeks, 1-3 months in diferent places. Too much moving from place to place exausts me and is expensive. My business is independent of location but it doesn't quite give me the money I need
2014 Portland, ORSomeone once told me I was dumb for focusing on style instead of politics. But I have zero interest in politics, and I feel at home with people who appreciate aesthetics
Does caring about beauty make me shallow? No. For me, style isn't superficial—it's a sensory experience- it's about feeling, texture, mood, and beauty, which speaks directly to an emotional soul. I'm extremely sensitive, and my emotions run deep. People who feel deeply don't need to debate politics to prove their substance. We absorb and understand the world differently.
As Khalil Gibran wrote: 'All can hear, but only the sensitive can understand
2014 Portland, OR photo taken in my photo studio for dating apps. Searching for romance and adventure I 'm on dating apps but I hate them so much. Finding somebody you like who likes you back in the same time , making it work, having a good time is hard to come by
2014 Portland, ORMy first Bob Dylan concert
2016 Portland, ORMy brain is focused on what I like and unfocused on the rest. "Work" or "job" "calling" "purpose" are not words in my vocabulary. I already have my babies and since I only love love I decide to create my own app that I'd rather not call dating app
2022 Portland, OR
2023
2023 Valdeze, Alaska
2023 Miami, FL
2023 Chicago
2024 Naxos, Greece
2024 Tuscany, ItalyPeaceful, at this charming beautiful old Tuscany house with red brick floors, stone walls, tasteful exciting art, an old usable piano, its grounds with red and pink geraniums, roses, plum, fig and pear trees, olive grove, grapevine, cypress trees, umbrella pine trees, no other house around, with 360 degree views of the surrounding fields, hills, valleys and old towns ( Montepulciano). In this house I immediately got in touch completely with myself became one with nature and my dream and the whole world, any sense of time completely disappeared. I thought I want to live and feel like this for the rest of my life. I could see myself living in that with my lover through springs, summers, autumns, winters forever.
2025
2026People who align with me : Bob Dylan, Thich Nhat Hanh, Charles Bukowski, Jack Kerouac. I like and enjoy all sorts of people but I feel the best when I have around people I call my home whom I can to sleep with, eat with, walk down the street with. "Sexual intimacy can be a beautiful thing if there is mindfulness, concentration, insight, mutual understanding, and love" Thich Nhat Hanh